TL;DR: The teen years are emotionally intense. A good therapist can help your teen manage stress, understand their feelings, and build real confidence. The skills they pick up now will serve them for the rest of their lives.
You Are Not Imagining It. Being a Teen Right Now Is Hard.
If you are raising a teenager, you probably already feel this in your bones. Something about growing up right now is different from when we were kids.
Social media never shuts off. School pressure starts earlier. There is this unspoken expectation that teens should have their future figured out before they have even figured out who they are. Add to that the pressure to fit in, look a certain way, and perform well in everything, and it is a lot.
Their brains are also still developing. The part of the brain that helps with impulse control, decision-making, and managing emotions does not fully develop until the mid-twenties. So your teen is dealing with adult-sized problems with a brain that is still under construction.
When they blow up over something that seems small to you, they are not being dramatic. Their brain is doing what a developing brain does. Big feelings show up fast. The ability to handle them comes later. That gap between feeling everything and being able to manage it is where a lot of the struggle lives.
Why Your Teen Might Not Tell You They Are Struggling
Most teens will not come to you and say, “I am struggling and I need help.”
What you might see instead: the bedroom door is closed more often. They are more irritable. They have stopped hanging out with friends, or they are hanging out with different ones. Grades slip. They say “I’m fine” in a tone that clearly means they are not. Sometimes anger is the only emotion they will show you, because it feels safer than admitting they are scared or sad.
None of this means they do not want support. It means they do not know how to ask for it.
If you grew up in a home or culture where emotions were kept private, where feelings were not something you talked about openly, your teen may have picked up that same pattern. They learned by watching. That is not a failure on anyone’s part. It is just how it works.
A good therapist gives your teen a place where they can say what is actually going on, without worrying about disappointing you or being judged by their friends. Sometimes having that one person who is not family, not a teacher, not a peer, makes all the difference.
Making Sense of All Those Big Feelings
If you have ever watched your teen go from laughing to crying to furious in the space of an hour, you know how confusing it can be from the outside. Now imagine how it feels from the inside.
Most teens cannot explain why they feel the way they do. They just know that everything feels like too much. A therapist helps them slow that down. Not by telling them what to feel, but by helping them understand what is happening and why. Over time, teens start to see that their emotions are not random. Feelings are actually useful information. They point to what matters, what is not working, and what needs attention.
When a teen starts to understand their own inner world, something changes at home too. They are less reactive. Conversations get a little easier. The wall comes down, even if it happens slowly.
When Stress Becomes Their Normal
A lot of the teens we work with do not even realize how stressed they are. It has just become how life feels.
But their bodies know. Stress shows up as headaches, stomach aches, trouble sleeping, not wanting to do things they used to enjoy, constant irritability. Parents sometimes read this as laziness or a bad attitude. It is worth looking a little deeper.
A therapist can help your teen learn simple, practical ways to calm their body when anxiety spikes, to notice the racing thoughts that keep them up at night, and to catch the negative loops that tell them they are not good enough. These are not band-aid fixes. They are skills your teen will carry into adulthood, the kind that help them handle pressure at work, work through disagreements in their relationships, and look after their mental health before things reach a breaking point.
The Identity Question
Who am I? Where do I belong? Am I good enough?
Every teenager wrestles with these questions. They can feel especially heavy for teens growing up between two cultures, trying to honour what their family expects while also figuring out who they want to be.
Without someone to talk to, a lot of teens end up measuring their worth by things that are constantly changing: grades, social media likes, how they look, whether they are popular. When those things go well, they feel okay. When they do not, it can feel like the ground has dropped out from under them. A good therapist helps teens build a sense of who they are that does not depend on what other people think. That kind of self-respect sticks around long after the teen years are over.
“My Teen Does Not Want to Go.”
This is probably the most common thing parents tell us. And we get it.
Teens resist therapy for all kinds of reasons. They think it means something is wrong with them. They are afraid they will be forced to talk. They have heard from friends or seen on social media that therapy is for people who are “crazy” or “broken.” Sometimes they just do not want to do one more thing that an adult has told them to do. All of that is normal.
A few things that can help:
- Let them have a say. Show them a few therapist profiles and ask what they think. Did anyone stand out? Would they feel comfortable talking to one of them? Giving them that choice makes a big difference.
- Be honest about why you think it could help. You do not need a big speech. Something like, ‘I have noticed you seem stressed and I do not think you should have to figure it all out on your own. A therapist is someone who can help you work through stuff without judging you.’ Do not frame it as punishment or a consequence.
- Keep it simple. Something like, “I want you to have someone in your corner who is just for you” goes a long way.
- Remind them that what they talk about is between them and their therapist.
Many of the teens who push back the hardest at the beginning end up getting the most out of it. Once they realize the therapist is not there to lecture them or report everything back to you, they start talking. Really talking.
What About Confidentiality?
This matters. A lot.
Teens will not open up if they think everything they say is going straight back to their parents. At the same time, you are their parent and you need to know your child is safe. A good therapist knows how to hold both of those things. Your teen’s conversations stay private, but if there is a safety concern, you will be brought in. It is a partnership built around one goal: your teen’s wellbeing.
These Skills Do Not Expire
The things your teen picks up while working with a therapist do not disappear when the sessions end.
How to recognize what they are feeling. How to communicate without shutting down or blowing up. How to manage stress. How to solve problems instead of avoiding them. These are the same skills that will help them in their friendships, their future jobs, their marriages, their own parenting one day.
Therapy is not about getting through a rough patch. It is an investment in the adult your teen is becoming.
What You Are Really Saying When You Support This
When your teen starts therapy, they hear something they may not hear anywhere else: “You matter. What you are feeling matters. And you do not have to carry it alone.”
From a parent, that lands deeper than you might think.
Meet Our Children and Youth Therapists
At Cornerstone, we have three therapists who work specifically with children and teens. They are good at what they do, and they know how to build trust with young people who might not be thrilled about being in a therapist’s office.
Nada Ragheb holds a Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology and is a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) with CRPO. Nada works with children, teens, and young adults dealing with trauma, family conflict, and managing big emotions. She offers therapy in both English and Arabic, which makes a real difference for families who want a therapist who understands their language and cultural background.
Lauren Van Laare earned her Master of Divinity in Clinical Counselling from Tyndale University and is a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) with CRPO. Lauren specializes in working with kids and teens dealing with anxiety, depression, and family conflict. She talks with young people, not at them. She uses Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which helps teens spot and change unhelpful thinking patterns, and Narrative Therapy, which helps them rewrite the stories they tell about themselves. Lauren offers online sessions.
Karoline Boles holds a Master of Arts in Counselling Psychology and is a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) with CRPO. She has a background in neuroscience and spent over three years working one-on-one with children with autism as a behavioural therapist. Karoline works with children ages 6 and up, teens, and adults, and offers therapy in English and Arabic. She is also trained in Play Therapy, which works well for younger children who express themselves better through play than words.
If you are wondering whether therapy might help your teen, or if you just want to talk it through, we are here. Just call our Intake team at 905.214.7363 or email us to book a free consultation. No pressure, no sales pitch. Just a conversation.
