Is AI Making Us Less Smart? Understanding Cognitive Offloading and What It Means for Your Family

TLDR: Your Brain on Autopilot

Cognitive offloading is when we hand over thinking tasks to tools like GPS, calendars, or AI. It’s natural and helpful. But when it becomes automatic instead of intentional, we lose critical thinking skills, memory, and problem-solving ability. The solution? Small changes to use AI as a tool, not a replacement for thinking.

The Moment We All Recognize

Your teenager asks you a question. Before you can answer, they’ve already asked their phone. Your colleague used to draft thoughtful emails; now they paste AI-generated responses. You realize you can’t remember your partner’s phone number because it’s stored in your contacts.

These moments feel small. But they point to something bigger happening in our brains and in our families.

What Is Cognitive Offloading? (In Plain English)

Think of your brain as having a mental workbench where you do your thinking. Cognitive offloading is when you move some of that work off the workbench and onto external tools. Writing a shopping list instead of memorizing it. Using GPS instead of learning the route. Asking AI to summarize an article instead of reading it yourself.

This isn’t new. Humans have been offloading for millennia. We’ve used writing, maps, and calculators for generations. What’s different now is the scale and speed. AI doesn’t just store information for us; it thinks for us, generating complete answers and solutions instantly.

Your Brain When You Offload: What Actually Happens

When you decide to save something externally rather than memorizing it, your brain essentially says, “I don’t need to hold on to this.” Research shows that when we rely on external storage (a list, a file, a phone), our brains create weaker internal memories. We remember where the information is stored, but not the information itself.

This isn’t necessarily bad. Your brain is being efficient. Why use precious mental energy remembering your grocery list when you can write it down and use that energy for something more important?

The challenge comes when this becomes automatic. When we stop choosing what to remember and what to offload, and instead offload everything by default.

Four Patterns to Watch For

1. The Reminder Trap

Research has found something called “reminder bias.” In studies, people set reminders for things they could easily remember on their own. When researchers offered them money to use their own memory instead, they still chose the reminder.

Why? We underestimate ourselves. We think we’ll forget, so we offload. Over time, this becomes a habit. The less we practice remembering, the less confident we feel in our memory, so we offload even more. It’s a cycle that feeds itself.

2. When Thinking Feels Like Too Much Work

A recent study surveyed over 600 people and found that the more frequently someone used AI tools, the lower they scored on critical thinking tests. This wasn’t about intelligence. It was about habit.

People who reach for AI first lose the opportunity to think through problems themselves. Young people (17–25 years old) show the strongest pattern: highest AI dependence, lowest critical thinking scores.

3. The Smart Person’s Vulnerability

You might think intelligent, accomplished people would be immune to cognitive decline from AI use. Actually, they may be most at risk.

Why? Because they’re often the first to recognize AI’s power and integrate it into their work. A gifted writer might use AI for every draft. A talented programmer might use AI for all their code. The work looks excellent. But they’re not building the deeper skills that come from struggle and revision.

The output is the same. But there is no growth.

4. Knowledge Without Understanding

We’re getting excellent at knowing where answers are, but not at actually knowing the answers.

Think about the last time you Googled something you once knew by heart. Maybe a phone number, or which highway gets you downtown, or how to calculate a percentage. You found the answer in seconds. But if someone asked you right now to calculate 15% of 80 without looking it up, could you?

That’s the difference between accessing information and understanding it.

This might not seem like a big deal for remembering phone numbers. But think about a doctor diagnosing a patient. If she has to Google every symptom, she might find the right information. But she can’t spot patterns quickly, make connections between different symptoms, or trust her judgment in a critical moment. Real expertise means having knowledge in her head, ready to use and connect to other knowledge.

The same principle applies to all of us in our work and lives. When we only remember where to look things up, we lose the deeper understanding that comes from truly knowing something. We can retrieve facts, but we can’t explain the reasoning. We can find answers, but we struggle to see patterns or make creative connections.

The Education Question That Should Worry Us

Teachers across Ontario are noticing a pattern. Students submit well-written assignments but can’t explain their own arguments when asked. They present polished work but stumble when discussing the reasoning behind it. The writing is sophisticated, but the understanding isn’t there.

What’s happening? Students are uploading their homework to AI, getting complete answers, and submitting them as their own work. Technically, they’re not copying from another student or a website. But they’re also not learning.

We might have a problem: our education system has trained students to focus on grades, not growth. If getting an A is the goal, and AI can deliver an A, why struggle through the work yourself? From the student’s perspective, it’s a rational choice.

The problem: students lose the ability to wrestle with confusion until they gain clarity. They miss out on the confidence that comes from solving something hard on their own. They never develop the skill of building their own arguments. These aren’t just academic skills. They’re life skills that shape who you become.

When we trade thinking for performance, we trade growth for grades. And that trade might look good on a transcript, but it shows up later in ways that matter much more.

The AI Therapy Problem Nobody’s Talking About

Let me be direct about something that keeps us awake at night: AI chatbots are not therapists.

They’re designed for engagement, not healing. They can’t hold space for your grief. They can’t read your body language. They can’t catch the subtle cues that something deeper is happening beneath your words.

There have been tragic consequences. In February 2024, a 14-year-old Florida boy died by suicide after developing a dependent relationship with a Character.AI chatbot. His death has become part of a lawsuit and prompted urgent warnings from mental health professionals.

In December 2024, the American Psychological Association sent an urgent letter to the Federal Trade Commission warning that AI chatbots posing as therapists endanger the public. The APA cited cases where chatbots falsely claimed to be licensed psychologists and psychotherapists. These bots use algorithms that are “antithetical to what a trained clinician would do,” said APA CEO Arthur Evans Jr. Instead of challenging harmful thoughts, they often validate and reinforce them.

Real therapy requires human judgment, ethical training, and the ability to sit with difficult emotions. An algorithm can’t do that. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out to an actual human therapist who can provide genuine support.

But It’s Not All Doom and Gloom: Here Are Three Ways to Keep Your Mind Sharp

Research suggests practical ways to use AI without losing your cognitive edge.

1. Make Space for Mental Sparring

Remember the last time you had a real debate? Not an argument, but a genuine exchange where you had to defend your thinking, consider other perspectives, and refine your position?

A Boston Public Schools study found that students who participated in debate showed massive gains in analytical thinking, equivalent to two-thirds of a year of learning. Why? Because debate forces you to engage deeply with ideas, anticipate counterarguments, and think on your feet.

You can create this in your family. When someone brings up a topic, resist the urge to Google the answer immediately. Discuss it first. What do you think? Why? What might someone who disagrees say?

Then look it up together and see how your thinking compared.

2. Get Comfortable with “I Don’t Know… Yet”

When your child asks a question you don’t know the answer to, try saying: “I don’t know. Let’s figure it out together.”

Then, before reaching for a device, think through it together. What might make sense? What do you already know that could help? Where could you start looking?

This models that thinking is valuable. Not knowing isn’t failure. It’s an invitation to learn.

And here’s something important: that uncomfortable space between not knowing and knowing? That’s where learning happens. When you feel frustrated because you don’t understand something yet, that frustration is a sign your brain is working, growing, making new connections. It’s not a problem to solve by reaching for AI. It’s the process itself.

3. Create “Think First” Zones

Choose specific situations where AI is off-limits, at least initially:

• First drafts (write it yourself, edit with AI if needed)
• Problem-solving homework (work through it first, check your answer with AI after)
• Reading comprehension (read first, use AI to clarify specific confusing parts, not to replace reading)

The pattern matters more than the specific rules. Build the habit of doing your own thinking first, then using AI as a support tool, not a replacement.

The Philosophy Connection (Bear With Me, This Matters)

A massive study of over 600,000 students found that philosophy students outperformed every other major on reasoning tests and measures of intellectual curiosity. More importantly, studying philosophy didn’t just attract naturally curious students; it made them better thinkers.

Philosophy forces you to think deeply about complex ideas with no clear answers. You can’t offload that to AI. The thinking IS the point.

Take this example: Your teenager says, “Everyone cheats on tests, so why shouldn’t I?” You can’t just Google the answer. You have to think through questions like: What makes something right or wrong? Is it about following rules, or about the kind of person you want to be? If everyone does something wrong, does that make it okay?

You don’t need to study Aristotle to practice this kind of thinking. Just ask deeper questions: Why do we believe what we believe? What assumptions are we making? What would someone who disagrees say?

These questions can’t be Googled. They require your mind.

For Parents: What This Means at Home

You don’t need to ban AI. That’s not realistic, and it’s not the point.

Instead:

Model curiosity over convenience. When you don’t know something, say so. Show your kids you value figuring things out.

Make thinking visible. Talk through your reasoning out loud. “I’m trying to decide between these two options. Here’s what I’m thinking…”

Celebrate struggle. When your child is frustrated with a problem, validate that frustration while encouraging persistence. “This is hard. That means your brain is growing.”

Set boundaries together. Talk as a family about when AI is helpful (checking facts, getting unstuck) and when it’s harmful (replacing thinking, avoiding effort).

Check in with yourself. Are you reaching for AI because it’s helpful, or because you’ve lost confidence in your own thinking?

The Deeper Question: Who Do We Want to Become?

The research shows AI isn’t making us less intelligent. But it could prevent us from becoming as intelligent, creative, and capable as we might otherwise be.

The mathematician who always uses ChatGPT to check calculations stops doing math in her head. The executive who always uses AI for emails stops developing his own voice. The student who always uses AI for reading comprehension never builds real comprehension skills.

None of them became less capable. They just never became more capable.

And over time, that gap grows quietly in the background of daily convenience.

Where We Go From Here

The goal isn’t to reject AI. That would be unrealistic and impractical. AI tools will only become more integrated into our lives.

The goal is to use AI as a tool that extends our thinking rather than replaces it.

That requires intention. It requires teaching our children (and ourselves) that not all convenience is progress. That struggle isn’t failure; it’s how our brains grow. That being able to think independently, reason through complexity, and trust our own minds matters more than having instant access to answers.

When people tackle challenging problems over time (not just quick tasks, but things that require real effort), their intelligence can actually increase. The brain is remarkably adaptable. It grows stronger when we challenge it and weaker when we don’t.

Your mind is either being exercised or it’s atrophying. There’s not really a middle ground.

When to Seek Professional Support

If you’re noticing:

• Anxiety when you can’t access technology or AI
• Significant loss of confidence in your memory or judgment
• Avoidance of tasks that require independent thinking
• Family conflict around technology use
• Concerns about your child’s development or relationship with AI

…a therapist can help you address the psychological and emotional patterns underneath these struggles.

At Cornerstone, we work with individuals, children and youth, and families to build confidence, manage anxiety, and develop healthier relationships with technology. We’re not tech experts, but we can help you understand and address the emotional barriers that keep you stuck. You don’t have to figure this out alone.