Young Men and Mental Health: How Parents, Friends and Communities in Peel Can Help

From the outside, Nick Cholmsky looked like he was doing well. Growing up in Ottawa, he played basketball, had friends and was close to his family.

Inside, he was struggling. His depression began in middle school and got much worse by Grade 11. As his depression and anxiety grew, he believed he couldn’t tell anyone, because being a man meant pushing those feelings down. Looking back, he told CBC News that much of how he acted back then “was for sure just a performance, me acting the way I thought I was supposed to act as a man.”

Nick is 21 now. We’ll come back to his story at the end.

If you have a son, brother, grandson, nephew, partner or friend who seems fine but isn’t quite himself, this article is for you. It looks at what the research shows, what to watch for, what to say when he doesn’t want to talk, and where to find help in Peel Region.

The short answer: Many young men are struggling, and many don’t get help or stop before it helps. You may be the first person to notice a change. You can help by noticing, asking and staying close. When he needs more support, counselling is one option.

What is happening with young men’s mental health?

Health Canada reports that between 2012 and 2022, the share of men aged 15 to 24 who reported a mood disorder, such as depression, rose from 11% to 16%. The share who reported generalized anxiety disorder rose from 4% to 10%. Over the same years, the share who rated their mental health as very good or excellent fell from 70% to 52%.

Anxiety more than doubled over those ten years. Our article on the signs of anxiety people often miss explains how it can show up, including in men.

A June 2026 survey by Mental Health Research Canada (MHRC) and GreenShield looked at young men aged 16 to 29 and why many are not getting support:

One in three said asking for help with mental health is a sign of weakness.
44% of those who needed support in the past year did not get it.
Of those who did get care, 49% stopped earlier than planned or before their needs were met.

The survey also found that young men who are new to Canada were more likely to see asking for help as weakness: 50%, compared with 34% of young men whose parents immigrated. Racialized young men were nearly twice as likely to say they would talk to no one when struggling (29%, compared with 15% of non-racialized young men). Culture, family expectations and the experience of moving to a new country may all shape whether asking for help feels safe.

Men in Canada also die by suicide at almost three times the rate of women. If you are worried about someone right now, crisis lines are listed near the end of this article.

In Peel, Peel Public Health reports that fewer students in Grades 7 to 12 rated their mental health as excellent, very good or good in 2023 than in 2013. Across Ontario, the latest student survey from the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) found that student mental health improved between 2023 and 2025, yet 46% still reported moderate to serious distress. That is about double the level of ten years ago. These student numbers include girls and boys together.

If you’re the one struggling

If you’re a young man reading this for yourself, what you’re feeling makes sense, and you don’t have to figure it out alone. Talking to someone is what Nick did, and it’s what many men who seem strong have done. You can start small: text a friend, talk to someone you trust, or call one of the lines listed near the end of this article. You can also book a session with a Cornerstone therapist yourself, in person or online.

How can you tell if he’s struggling?

Nick’s story shows how well a young man can keep going to school, sports and family dinners while struggling quietly. You may notice changes in what he does more than in what he says:

He has stopped seeing friends or doing things he used to enjoy
He is sleeping much more or much less
He seems angry, irritable or quick to argue
His grades or work have slipped
He is drinking or using cannabis more
He is betting on sports or gambling online
He talks about feeling hopeless, or says things like “what’s the point?”

One of these on its own may mean very little. A change that lasts a few weeks is a good reason to check in.

You might be watching for sadness. With many young men, the first signs look more like irritability, pulling back, or staying busy all the time with games, work or the gym. It can help to ask yourself: what has changed? What he stops doing, such as leaving a team, skipping family meals or drifting from old friends, can tell you as much as anything he says.

Sports betting starts younger than many parents think

In Ontario, you must be 19 or older to bet on sports through a regulated online betting site. Yet CAMH’s 2025 student survey found that 10% of students in Grades 7 to 12 bet on sports online in 2025. The survey includes students as young as Grade 7, around age 12. In the same survey, 12% had gambled online in the past year, and almost a quarter (23%) saw online gambling ads every day.

Nick wasn’t surprised. “I saw kids in middle school gambling,” he told CBC.

For some young men, it becomes serious. In April 2022, Ontario became the first province to let private companies run online betting sites. A study by ICES, an Ontario health research institute, found that emergency room visits for gambling problems were 154% higher than expected among males aged 10 to 29 after this change. More than 70% of those visits also involved another mental health concern or heavy substance use.

Betting is now part of how many young men watch sports, and the ads run through every game. A few things that may help:

Watch a game with him and ask what he thinks of the betting ads. It’s an easy way to find out how much betting is part of his world.
Notice changes around money: borrowing, selling things, or being short on cash when he shouldn’t be.
If you’re worried, ConnexOntario (listed below) can connect you or him with free gambling support.

The online voices young men are hearing

Many young men spend time in what’s often called the “manosphere.” These are influencers, podcasts and videos about what it means to be a man. One of the best known is Andrew Tate, who promotes strict rules for being an “alpha male”: control your emotions and your relationships, get as fit as you can, and make as much money as possible. CBC reports that he faces multiple criminal charges, including sex trafficking, and still has a large following. Other trends, like “looksmaxxing,” push boys to change how they look at almost any cost.

Nick told CBC he was online a lot during his worst mental health times, at “the height of Andrew Tate.” The message he heard was “be a man, be tough, make lots of money.” It also told him to stay quiet about what he was going through.

“The manosphere is radicalizing young boys who don’t know where they fit,” John Oliffe, Canada Research Chair in men’s health promotion at the University of British Columbia, told CBC.

Part of the appeal is easy to understand. This content offers clear rules, a goal and a sense of belonging, at an age when many young men are unsure where they fit. If your son or friend follows these voices, it may help to start by asking what he likes about them. Listening first makes it more likely he’ll hear you when you share your own view. You might ask how these influencers talk about women, or what happens to a man in their world when he’s struggling. Pointing him to men who show strength in other ways, like Nick, can help too.

When he turns to AI for help

Some young men look for mental health support from AI chatbots. In the MHRC survey, about 12% of young men had used AI tools for mental health support, and 7% had turned to online forums. The report notes that the quality and safety of these sources aren’t guaranteed.

The American Psychological Association has warned that AI chatbots can agree too easily with what a person says, miss signs of a crisis, and collect very private information. Our article on why the APA is warning about AI therapy chatbots explains the risks.

If he’s using AI to talk through how he feels, it may be a sign that he wants to talk to someone.

What can you say if he doesn’t want to talk?

“Are you okay?” usually gets a quick “I’m fine.” What works better depends on who you are to him.

If you’re his father, uncle, brother or friend, short and low-key often works best:

“Rough week?”
“You’ve seemed off lately. What’s going on?”
“Want to grab something to eat?”
“I’m around if you want to talk.”

If you’re his mother or partner, you may have more room to ask directly:

“You’ve seemed stressed lately. How are things going?”
“What’s been on your mind most this week?”
“You don’t have to tell me everything. I’m here when you want to talk.”

Try talking side by side

Many men find it easier to talk side by side than face to face. Robert Whitley, the McGill University psychiatry professor quoted by CBC, writes that conversations about mental health often go better when they happen “shoulder-to-shoulder rather than face-to-face.” He writes that in his own research, activities like fishing, walks in the woods and long drives can prompt these conversations. The Men’s Sheds movement, where men meet to build and fix things together, has a motto: “Men don’t talk face-to-face, they talk shoulder-to-shoulder.”

Sitting across a table can feel like an interview. When you’re both looking at something else, there’s less pressure to make eye contact or find the right words. Silence feels normal, and he can say a little, stop, and come back to it.

In everyday life, that might look like:

The drive to a game, work or a late-night food run
Shooting hoops, going to the gym or playing a game together
Fixing a bike, working on the car or building something
Cooking a meal together, or walking the dog

If he does open up, a simple “Thanks for telling me” helps more than quick advice or a story about your own past. He may say very little the first time. Coming back to it a few days later shows him you meant what you said.

Who can help?

You don’t have to do this alone. Many people in a young man’s life can help.

Parents and family. You can help by noticing changes, asking, listening and staying connected. Having the right answer matters less than being someone he can come back to.

Friends. Friends often notice changes first. A short message like “Haven’t seen you around much. Everything good?” can mean a lot. If he says he’s fine, “Okay. I’m around if that changes” lets him know he can come back to you.

Schools. Teachers, guidance counsellors, social workers and child and youth workers can notice when a student is struggling and help connect him with support.

Family doctors. A doctor can check for physical causes, talk through options and refer to other services.

Why the men in his life matter

Many young men grow up with very few men to look up to outside their own home. Statistics Canada data cited by CBC shows only about a quarter of elementary and high school teachers in Canada are men. Robert Whitley told CBC that some young men reach 18, 19 or 20 without ever having had a male role model. In his words, “it’s not a crisis of masculinity, there’s a crisis of mentorship.”

If you’re a father, uncle, older brother, coach or youth leader, the time you give him matters more than you may think. It doesn’t have to be a big talk. You can show up to his game, ask him to help with a project, or tell him about a hard time in your own life and what helped you get through it. Hearing a man he respects say “I’ve been there, and talking to someone helped” can change how he sees asking for help.

If there isn’t a man close to him, it may help to think about who could be. An uncle, a family friend, a coach, a teacher or a youth leader at church may be glad to spend time with him.

The federal government told CBC that its coming strategy for men and boys, expected by early 2027, will look at investing in mentorship, peer support, sport and recreation.

How counselling can help

Sometimes talking with family, a friend or a coach is enough. When low mood, worry, anger, grief, gambling or substance use keeps going or gets worse, counselling gives him a private place to work things out with someone trained to help.

Here’s what that looks like at Cornerstone:

Privacy comes first. For many young men, this is the biggest worry. What he shares stays between him and his therapist, with a few exceptions required by law, such as serious safety concerns. His therapist will explain at the first session what stays private and when, if ever, parents are involved. Our therapists are registered with the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario (CRPO) and follow Ontario’s privacy laws.

He can talk to a man. Some young men find it easier to open up to a male therapist. Cornerstone has male therapists, and he can ask for one.

His culture and language are understood. Many of the families we work with are new to Canada or come from cultures where mental health isn’t talked about openly. Our therapists speak English, French and Arabic. Some young men want a therapist who understands their culture or faith. Others would rather see someone from outside their community. He can ask for either. Christian faith-integrated counselling is also available for those who want it.

It’s practical. Sessions can focus on specific problems he wants to work on, such as sleep, anger, stress at school or work, relationships or gambling, with something to try before the next visit.

Emad Awadalla, who reviewed this article, is a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) and has spent almost 20 years in Ontario schools as a high school teacher, guidance counsellor, education consultant and acting principal. That work has given him a close view of what young people deal with day to day: pressure at school, changing friendships, family expectations and life online. He knows how a young man can seem fine at school while struggling at home, and the other way around. Emad speaks English, French and Arabic. In many families, a son is most comfortable talking in English while his parents feel more at home in Arabic or French. Emad can meet each of them in their own language.

Helping him start and stay in counselling

Getting to a first appointment is a big step. Staying long enough for it to help is the next one. In the MHRC survey, young men who stopped care early most often said they felt they had little control over it (20%), appointments were hard to fit in (18%), or they weren’t seeing progress (15%). You can help with each of these.

How you help depends on his age. With a teenager, you may be more involved. With an adult son, brother or friend, your part is to offer support and let him decide.

Let him lead. You can offer to help with booking or a ride, and leave the choices to him: which therapist, what to work on and how often to go. Asking “How are you finding it?” respects his privacy more than “What did you talk about?”

Help him find the right fit. You can let him know that Cornerstone offers a free 15-minute call with a therapist, so he can ask questions before booking. If the fit feels wrong later, changing therapists is easy.

Help make the timing work. Cornerstone has evening appointments Monday to Thursday, Saturday sessions, and online sessions he can join from his room or a parked car. If his schedule is the problem, you can help him find a time that fits around school, work or sports.

Notice progress. Change can be slow, and he may not see it himself. If you notice a difference, even a small one, tell him. It can help him see that counselling is working.

If he wants to stop, you can ask what isn’t working. A different therapist or a different approach may help him keep going.

You can also meet with a therapist on your own to talk about how to support him. A sliding scale is available for those who qualify. Call 905-214-7363 or visit our contact page.

Where can young people in Peel get help?

If someone is in immediate danger, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency department. For 24-hour crisis support in Peel, call 905-278-9036.

9-8-8 Suicide Crisis Helpline: Call or text 9-8-8 any time, day or night, for free support. You can also visit 988.ca.
Kids Help Phone: Call 1-800-668-6868 to speak with a counsellor or text CONNECT to 686868 to reach a trained crisis responder. Both services are available 24 hours a day. You can also visit kidshelpphone.ca.
ConnexOntario: Call 1-866-531-2600 or text CONNEX to 247247 to find free mental health, addiction and gambling services in Ontario. It’s open 24 hours a day. You can also visit connexontario.ca.
Youth Wellness Hub (Peel): Free mental health and substance use support for young people aged 12 to 25 and their families, with no health card needed. You can walk in or book an appointment at the temporary location, 25 Capston Drive in Mississauga, Monday to Friday from 1 p.m. to 7 p.m. Call 647-237-9484 or email [email protected].
At school: A guidance counsellor or school social worker can help students find support at school and in the community.

What happened next for Nick

Nick’s mental health began to improve after he started asking for help. So did the mental health of Adam Kunder, a 33-year-old former firefighter in Toronto who told CBC he also kept his struggles quiet and lost several friends to suicide. Both men now work to be role models for other young men.

Kunder coaches and works with other men. He told CBC he feels it’s his duty “to show up for men who are suffering and to hear them out and just let them know it’s all OK.”

Nick now studies psychology at McGill University. In September 2026, he was named one of Ottawa’s 21 under 21 for his work in mental health advocacy and for challenging harmful ideas about masculinity and mental health.

“We all need to be doing our part to talk about this stuff,” he said.